A Little Off the Top, Please
by Little Ringbearer
Summary: Gimli goes in for a hair cut. He gets more than he bargains for. Just a random story! R&R it please!


_Disclaimer: I don't own Gimli. Or anything else. Just my crazy idea._

_A/N: Oh yeah, and I have no idea where this story came from. I was just bored in class and thought about how long Gimli's beard and hair is, so I decided to write this short story._

**Just A Little Off the Top, Please:**

**Gimli's P.O.V.**

It all started last Tuesday when I decided to go get a trim. I began to head down to my local barbershop, Moria Cuts. As I was walking there, I thought of what to tell the hairdresser exactly what I wanted. "A little off the top, please." Ah yes. Perfect. "And while I'm here, a trim on the beard wouldn't hurt either." Good. Very good. That's just what I needed. I walked up to the door of Moria Cuts and stopped. I decided to peek in the window to see if it was an okay place.

I put my hands to the side of my head and peeked in the window. What I saw looked pretty normal to me. Female dwarves curling their hair, dwarves hair being trimmed by other dwarves, and little dwarf children getting their hair cut for the first time.

I decided it was safe and normal looking enough for me, so I casually strolled in. I walked up to the counter and signed in my name. 'Gimli Gloin's son.'

I took a seat next to a dwarf that also wanted a trim. His name was Frerin. We began talking about what style we liked and wanted. Frerin wanted to keep his style, much similar to mine, but just wanted a trim. Just like me!

Moments later, the hairdresser called Frerin for his trim. I told my new friend goodbye as he walked off and sat on a high chair. I watched as he spoke to the dresser about what he wanted. Although his words were inaudible to me, I knew just what he was saying.

I sat and watched for a couple of minutes when I heard my name being called. "Gimli Gloin's son! You're up!" The voice I deciphered to be of a female's with a lisp. Boy, was I ever wrong…

To my surprise, when I looked up, I saw a strange person. Strange indeed. A scrawny, short, human male wearing tight khaki pants, a dark blue shirt, with a white vest on top. He had perfect curly blonde hair ontop his head and perfect white teeth. This was a strange creature indeed standing before me. I must admit, I was a bit hesitant to stand up and follow him to a seat. But, I did anyway.

I sat down and he extended an open hand towards mine. "Hello. My name is Jacob. Nice to meet you Mister Gimli." "Just call me Gimli." I said. He threw a black cover over the front of my body so falling hair wouldn't get on my clothes.

"So, what do you want today?" He said, unbraiding my long, grimy thick hair. "Just a little off the top, please. Oh, and since I'm here, a trim on the beard wouldn't hurt either." Good. Just what I needed to say. I sure hope he knows what he's doing.

As he fought to detangle my beard and hair, I looked around for some entertainment. I found it in a magazine bin right next to my chair. I leaned over and grabbed one titled 'Rivendell Homes and Gardens.' I flipped through the magazine carelessly when a certain page caught my eye. 'The House of Elrond' it was titled.

About thirty minutes into my trim, I was engorged with this magazine. I was so caught up in it; time flew by very quickly. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up to see Jacob all out of breath. Finally, he managed to breathe out, "I finally untangled your hair. Follow me please…"

I hopped down from the chair and followed him to a sink, with my magazine in hand. He layed my seat back and began to wash my hair. I must admit I needed that wash, so did my beard. I was almost done reading 'The House of Elrond' when Jacob led me back to my seat to trim my now wet hair.

"Finally, it's nearly been an hour and we're just getting started." I thought. I heard Jacob grab for the scissors and comb and heard him clipping away. I was too involved in my magazine article to be aware of anything that was going on around me.

Little did I know, I was getting the trim of my lifetime. More than I bargained for. Another hour or so passed by, as I came to the end of my interesting magazine article. I found a subscription tear out and neatly tucked it into my pocket. The magazine looked good to me, so it wouldn't hurt to order it.

"Okay! All done!" I heard Jacob say, as he spun me around on the chair to face the mirror. My eyes widened with surprise and horror when I saw my reflection.

What I saw was beyond insults to dwarves. I was beardless first of all. Secondly, my hair had been cut _way _too short. I guess I failed to see, must less hear the razor, thanks to my magazine.

My hair was short, curly, and blonde. I later realized that my new style resembled Jacob's. I tried to hold in my anger, but was unsuccessful. I stood up, my face turning red and yelled at the top of my lungs demanding him to change it now.

"I'm sorry, sir. There's nothing I can do. I thought this is what you wanted." He said, almost smirking. "Well, you better think of something **good **to fix this mess." I shouted. We argued for the longest time until the manager of the store came out, pulling us away from each other's faces.

"What's going on in here?" Said the manager. "_This _is what's going on!" I said as I pointed to my ugly hair. "You better fix this right now, or I swear I'll burn the place!" I was so angry, I couldn't even think of a good threat. "Now hold on Mister Gimli, sir. There is one other thing I can do. But I won't think you'd like it much…" Jacob began to tremble at my anger. Hah.

"Fine. Hurry up and do it. Just so I'm not a blonde looking elf anymore." I sat down and crossed my arms. I heard Jacob turn on the razor as he began to shave off my remaining hair. I watched as my hair, short and blonde, fall to the floor.

I got up after he was finished, and to my surprise, I was totally bald. I mean my head shining bald. At least I wasn't blonde anymore. "There, sir. Sorry for the mix up." Jacob took up the cover on me and walked me over to the check out desk. I threw some coins onto the counter and stormed out of Moria Cuts.

"See if I ever go there again, puh!" I growled. Outside, I saw the Fellowship laying on the ground waiting for me. Upon my arrival, they immediately stood up and burst of laughter. The hobbits were laughing so uncontrollably; they needed to hold onto eachother to remain standing up.

"Oh, fine. Laugh all you want. It's not my fault! All I said was a trim!" I was getting angry again as Legolas approached me, oh boy. "Well hello there, BALDIE! Where'd your beard go?" Legolas gasped for air and leaned against a tree laughing. "Shut up! Leave me alone!" I ran as fast as my stubby legs could take me. I ran until I couldn't see them anymore and hid. I stayed there for hours.

"Gee, he looks like a rat or something." Pippin said in between breaths. "Well, come on, let's look for the miserable rascal." Chuckled Gandalf. They searched for hours until they found me hiding near a rock all curled up. I had my dwarf helmet on to cover my bald head. I wrapped my sleeve around my face to hide my beardless face also. Legolas helped me to my feet and apologized for making fun of me. 

It has now been a week since the horrible experience. And already I can see stubble form around my chin and head. So maybe my hair will grow back. And let's hope it will. After this quest is over, I'm marching down to Moria Cuts and having a word with Jacob. That is, if he wasn't fired.

OOOOOOOOOOOKAAAYYY! That was interesting, wasn't it? Yeah, it was odd. Something new and totally different for me! It was just a random idea. I might get more of them… but anyway, please review it. I'll review your stories if you do! Just tell me which one to review, and I shall! REVIEW! 


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